Desk Lite

One of the most useless workplace habits that somehow still exists: ranking your team.

Aka spending hours and sometimes days painstakingly debating with either yourself or maybe some other managers, even perhaps me in the HR team about who is the best team member and then the second best and so on. Then to have it all written on a piece of paper of paper or put in an excel template to then be filed away until the next time the ranking ritual takes place.

What’s the Point, Really?

If the team is doing their jobs aka, tasks are being done, targets are being met, customers aren’t running for the hills and there’s still money in the bank, then what exactly are you ranking? Where is the legitimate scorecard?!

It’s like ranking your favourite movies. Sure, you can say “Moulin Rouge is number one,” (because it bloody well is!) but what does that actually change? Nothing. The team is still working there and you’re just entertaining yourself with a list.

The Corporate Pastime That Pretends to Be Important

In my experience, some companies, ranking systems are treated like sacred rituals. Stack rankings. Nine-box grids. Colour-coded spreadsheets with vague axes labelled “potential” and “performance.” And the manager would come to me in HR to confirm that they had indeed ranked their team.

What these systems usually boil down to is a manager trying to assign people to boxes based on vibes. There is no standard marking criteria. But there is bias. A lot of it.

And the annoying part? The team never sees it. So even if someone is ranked as “solid performer with growth potential,” they have no idea. The only real outcome is that the manager gets to tick off another task on their to-do list.

Apples vs Orange

The other thing about Team rankings often compare people doing completely different things. Like comparing apples to oranges. “Sarah’s not as fast at writing reports as Ahmed is at coding.” Well… yes. Because they’re not doing the same job. Ranking across roles is like saying “This latte isn’t as sweet as that ice cream.” Okay. And?

It’s not helpful, and it doesn’t reflect reality. People bring different strengths to the table. As long as they’re all contributing to the overall goal, why are we trying to assign arbitrary positions?

What Actually Changes?

Here’s what irks me most: it rarely leads to action.

Rarely will it lead to a promotion for someone and perhaps a dismissal for someone else. Some kind of action. No including gathering dust.

It’s all a show. It’s busy work. A pretend activity designed to feel like you’re managing, when actually, you’re just rearranging names in a filing cabinet.

From what I have seen, it mostly means no one’s role changes. No one’s project gets reassigned. Everyone still comes in, does their work, meets the brief, and goes home.

So Let’s Just Stop Ranking

Ranking isn’t adding value. It’s not useful. It doesn’t drive performance, build culture, or make your day more enjoyable. It’s a legacy practice leftover from the days when everyone thought “management” meant making lists about people.

You’ve got better things to do. The team’s already doing their jobs. So skip the charts, ditch the boxes, and close the spreadsheet.

Mallory Conboy